


How did it get it's name?

by chaosfay



Series: The Bouncing Boner [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Male Friendship, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 07:46:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4738334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosfay/pseuds/chaosfay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathaniel introduces Anders to a tavern with an odd history.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How did it get it's name?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prize for alinnsurana.tumblr.com as part of a giveaway.

“I honestly didn’t think this place was real.” Anders was smiling, his voice filled with laughter.

“You really should work on trusting your friends.” Nathaniel pushed the mage ahead of him, a grin on his face. “Keep in mind everything I told you. Every word of it is true.”

Anders pushed the door to the tavern door open and was greeted by the smell of stew, bread, ale, and the usual sounds heard in places such as this. It took a few minutes of careful maneuvering before they reached the one empty table near the back. The men set their packs beneath the table, shoving them close to the wall.

“Remind me to thank you later for convincing me to leave my staff at the inn.”

“You can thank me by ordering drinks for us.” Nathaniel sat back in his chair, a grin on his face.

“Remember I can set your hair on fire.” Looking around for the nearest barmaid Anders raised his arm high. “We need two boners over here!”

“Two boners coming right up!”

Not a single chuckle, not a laugh, nothing. It was as though this were completely normal. Anders lowered his arm, eyes wide. “Andraste’s flaming tits. That’s just…damn.”

Nathaniel couldn’t hold back his laughter. “Didn’t I tell you to trust me?”

“I take it you’re new to The Bouncing Boner?” The barmaid set their drinks on the table. Both mugs were carved bones with smaller bones serving as handles.

“He is, I’m not.” Nathaniel drank deeply of the rich dark beer.

“I thought he was lying, but clearly I was wrong.” Anders was chuckling as he examined the mug. “How in blazes did the owner come up with this name?”

“My grandmother founded the place. Story she told us before passing on was my grandpapa lost his cock in some freak accident. Being a carpenter he had skills and made a wood cock. Several actually, depending on what my grandmother was wanting.”

“But what about the tavern?”

“I’m getting to that! My grandmother was from Orzammar, and had worked as a merchant there selling jewelry fashioned from bone. She still did that when her ass ended up here. Being the way she was she decided to make other things from larger bones. Between the two of them they built this place. When my grandmother wanted some cock she’d yell she wants a boner, and said it once while working behind the bar. The way the story goes she recovered embarrassing herself by saying that how folks are to order drinks.”

“Are you serious?”

“That’s why they serve dwarven ale. The good stuff, not the deep mushroom crap we had to suffer.” Nathaniel looked at the barmaid, a rather skeptical look on his face. “You know, that’s not the story I was told when I first visited.”

“Welcome to The Bouncing Boner, friends.” The woman winked before walking away to fetch drinks for other patrons.

“What was the story you were told?” Anders took a tentative sip of his drink.

“I was told this used to be a brothel that had only men on the menu. It catered to those with a preference for cock regardless of the patron’s gender. The contract for buying the place included a bit about all the mugs being made of bones and the name never being changed.” Pounding his chest he released a belch that would impress Oghren.

“That one is more believable, but this was more entertaining.” Satisfied his drink was safe Anders drank it half empty.   Setting it down, “do you think we should bring Oghren here next time?”

“Absolutely not. He’d pull out his own cock and bounce it around before getting his ass promptly kicked out of here.”

**Author's Note:**

> The Bouncing Boner series will consist of one-shots that all take place here. Much humor to be had!


End file.
